joke of the day

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joke of the day

Postby shakeapaw » Sun Sep 21, 2008 9:07 pm

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO...' answered the blond.
'They're watch dogs!!!' :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

everyone's a winner,another one tomorrow
http://www.thegde.co.uk/
Debut album out now £5
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Re: joke of the day

Postby MyChemicalRomance » Mon Sep 22, 2008 8:27 pm

Two cargo ships collided in the north sea, one carrying blue paint and one carrying red paint, the crew have been marooned...... aaaahhhhhh good ol' Tommy Cooper
****KEEP ON ROLLIN' BABY****

STOCKTON WEEKENDER - 25/26 July
BLINK-182 - Brixton 8 Aug
ALT FEST - 15-18 Aug
BEERMAGEDDON - 22-25 Aug
ATTICA RAGE - 2 Oct
MANCHESTER ORCHESTRA - 3 Oct
HARD ROCK HELL - 13-15 Nov
VOLBEAT - 15 Nov
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Re: joke of the day

Postby davetkd666 » Mon Sep 22, 2008 10:47 pm

Little Johnny is in a class where every Friday the teacher asks a question, and if you get it right you don't have to go to school on Monday.
The fist friday the question was how many gallons of water are there in the whole world. No one knew so they all had to go to school on Monday.
Next Friday the question was how many grains of sand are there in the whole world. No one knew so they had to sgo to school on Monday.
By this time Little Johnny is getting mad because he doesn't want to go to school on Monday, so he paints two ping-pong balls black and the next Friday right before the teacher asked the question he rolled the two black ping-pong balls up to her and she said, "Who is the comedian with two black balls?"
Little Johnny said," Bill Cosby. See you on Tuesday."
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Re: joke of the day

Postby dennis jarman » Tue Sep 23, 2008 6:27 am

a woman walks into a bar with a strapless dress on with hairy armpits,raises her arm and shouts out would any man in the bar buy a lady a drink.there is no reply apart from an old drunk at the end of the bar who tells the barman to get the ballerina a beer.she downs this in one and leaves the bar.the barman asks the drunk how he knew she was a ballerina to which the drunk replied,"any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"................. :mrgreen:
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Re: joke of the day

Postby Abaddon67 » Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:36 am

2 Blondes walks into a building, you'd have thought 1 would have seen it.
9xDead latest Album 'Cursed' out on Casket Music - June 25th 2012
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Re: joke of the day

Postby Abaddon67 » Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:37 am

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you ?

Pull the pin and throw it back.
9xDead latest Album 'Cursed' out on Casket Music - June 25th 2012
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Re: joke of the day

Postby oldmetalandmoody :@ » Tue Sep 23, 2008 8:15 am

man walks into a bar .. his guide dog was looking the other way
If i had to be anywere it would be the second level of hell :twisted:
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Re: joke of the day

Postby seasons_wither » Tue Sep 23, 2008 4:39 pm

A Glasgow chav goes to Amsetdam for the weekend to meet a hooker:
Here doll, how much??
£100 an hour.
Do ye dae it Glesga style?
No!
How No?! £200 fer Glesga style..
No!
Awe right, awe right. £500.
Ok £500.
**After the best hour of sex the hooker has ever had she says**
So what part of that was Glasgow style??
**The chav replies**

I pay you in 2 weeks when I get ma giro!!
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Re: joke of the day

Postby triaxis » Tue Sep 23, 2008 4:51 pm

Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?

Neither has he
Dennis Jarman on how many wives he has been through:
2,the same as me,i have a fetish for wedding cake and getting a Saturday off work!...............
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Re: joke of the day

Postby dennis jarman » Tue Sep 23, 2008 5:04 pm

what did Gary Glitter say to Michael Jackson?........"have you got two fives for a ten?"................ :mrgreen:
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